We’ve had guys yell slurs in our face as we’re walking through downtown Portland. The two of us have been victim to quite a few homophobic attacks: We’ve had drunk packs of bros film us making out. And a thing as simple as holding hands seems to attract lots of negative attention - everything from disapproving stares to disparaging slurs.
When it comes to gay relationships, publicly displaying physical affection can often seem like navigating a land mine. I simply want to show my boyfriend that I love him.
The act of two men holding hands in public may be tinged with politics, but I never intend for this mild display of affection to prompt debate about the nature of homosexuality. I’d like to make one thing clear: When I hold my boyfriend’s hand, I am not trying to draw attention to the fact that I’m gay. We both pause for a moment, nervously laughing as we try to make sense of the incident.
Not sure of how to process what just happened, I stare at my boyfriend. And then, within a moment, they walk away. “It’s so cool to see two guys in love,” she adds as she clenches her boyfriend’s hand. “You guys are so fucking cute,” she says in an all-too-expected Valley Girl accent. His girlfriend - seemingly proud of her bro-ish boyfriend’s act of approval - chimes in. “Oh, wow, you’re hitting that,” he says, referring to my boyfriend. It becomes unmistakably clear when he raises his hand to high-five me. But since we’re the only gay couple for blocks, it seems he’s addressing us. “You show that man-on-man love!”Ĭonfused, I look around to see if he might be talking to someone else. “Hey, you two,” the guy yells as he approaches us. We were walking down Hawthorne Avenue, holding hands, when a young heterosexual couple started shouting in our direction. It was an unexpectedly sunny afternoon in Portland, Oregon, and my boyfriend and I had just finished our traditional Saturday brunch.